The letter I sent to my pastor about the Pearls. By MarynMunchkins
Dear ***,
This morning’s message was wonderful. I love how you
bring grace and mercy into every message, and call legalism and
self-righteous behavior what it is. It’s truly a
blessing to listen.
Unfortunately, my husband had an experience this week which was
less than gracious and kind. He took someone from the
church out to lunch, who informed him that he was ungodly, his
wife was unsubmissive, his children were out of control, and that
he had no hope of ministry unless he got “his house in
order”. His Christianity was also called into question
because of sin that has already been forgiven.
I don’t bring this up to so you will address that
person. My concern is far greater. You see, this
person based their beliefs and judgment of our family around the
ministry of Michael Pearl. I don’t know if you’re
familiar with him, but I do know for a fact that there are
families at *** who are. I’ve known several families
in the Southern Baptist church who have actively used his
materials.
I’m writing to you because I’m deeply concerned about
them. In fact, I consider much of his teachings to be utter
heresy. While I see my opinion supported in my own study of
Scripture and confirmed by several wiser Christians than I,
I’d like you to look at it and give me your opinion.
Michael Pearl’s website is http://www.nogreaterjoy.org
He boasts a comprehensive ministry to families, and his website
is well organized and designed.
To illustrate some of my concerns, I’ve selected a few
quotes from his website.
One of my primary concerns is his belief that there is no
original sin, and we are born in a neutral state – able to
choose between good and evil, but not being inherently
either. He also believes that we are instantly sanctified
at the moment of salvation – that a true Christian cannot,
in fact, sin after receiving Christ. I can see no support
for this theory in Scripture, and, in fact, see much the
opposite.
He says “Man has spent many years “undoing” the
character of God in himself and his society.” Yet the
Bible clearly says that “There is none
righteous.” We are certainly made in the image of God,
but we do not possess His character, and therefore cannot undo
it.
He has the audacity to add to Scripture and claim he knows what
God would have written. “If Hebrews 11 were to
continue until the present, it would read something like this:
“And the followers of Christ, though they were living in
bodies of flesh, believed God that they were indeed baptized into
his body and thus freed from sin. They went out into the world,
walking by faith and hope and so, though they never saw their
glorified bodies or the throne on which they were seated, they
believed God against the sight of their eyes and so walked in
holiness and victory over the world, the flesh, and the devil.
While the world looked on the things that are seen, these sons of
The Last Adam, believed him who is invisible and so inherited the
kingdom and entered into the city which had foundations whose
builder and maker is God.” He claims and firmly
believes that sin is contained only in the physical body, not the
mind or soul; and with salvation comes the literal death of the
physical body and the absolute freedom from sin.
This blog article (http://allthings2all.blogspot.com/2005/09/michael-and-debi-pearls-no-greater-joy_30.html ) is a great summary of that
issue. You can actually listen to Pearl’s series on
Romans online at
http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/index.php?id=romans-audio to hear
exactly what it is that he is teaching.
Pearl has very strong views of the typical Christian
church. “Face it, the church today is not a sanctuary
from the world, nor is it a “holy” place. In the best
case scenario, it is a slice of the world where there is an
attempt at evangelism and worship. But on average, the church is
a social club composed of a mixed multitude. Far too often, the
church is a recruiting ground of pedophiles and
fornicators.” And “The church itself is actually
a mission field. There was a time when the church was a place of
worship for believers, and evangelism was done in special
meetings or out in the homes and streets, but today, the churches
invite the rattlesnakes to come into the house.” I
won’t speak for you, but I am more interested in having
sinners come to church than keeping my children from ever being
exposed to them.
Michael Pearl’s solution is to segregate from rest of
Christianity. While he does say “Don’t leave the
church, anymore than a missionary would leave the field because
there are sinners there.”, he also says “The homeschool
movement is more than an educational alternative. It is parents
putting on the brakes and saying, “my children will not ride
this train to hell; I will take charge and direct my family in a
different path.” You are part of a cultural shift, and a
spiritual awakening. We are in the midst of a revival of the
family. It must extend to a revival of community as well. The
public church is no longer to be trusted with your children any
more than the public schools.” Please understand that
I certainly am cautious about the people I entrust with my
children – including those at church. But, having just
had the unfortunate experience of being told that our family
wasn’t good enough to associate with by one of Pearl’s
followers, I realize that his teaching goes far beyond being
cautious of our children. It’s judgmental.
It’s legalistic. It’s unforgiving. And the
solution offered is to run from the community – “I
would like to tell them to move to a community like Cane Creek
and escape the world” – and avoid any and all other
Christians that see differently. It’s far different
from Paul’s advice to as much as possible, live at peace
with all men. There is no grace extended to fellow
Christians, nor an attempt to correct what is perceived as
sin. They only run away and hide in self-righteousness.
He segregates from the state as well. None of his married
daughters have marriage licenses. His opinion is,
“None of my daughters or their husbands asked the state of
Tennessee for permission to marry. They did not yoke themselves
to government. It was a personal, private covenant, binding them
together forever—until death. So when the sodomites have
come to share in the state marriage licenses, which will
eventually be the law, James and Shoshanna will not be in league
with those perverts. And, while I am on the subject, there will
come a time when faithful Christians will either revoke their
state marriage licenses and establish an exclusively one man-one
woman covenant of marriage, or, they will forfeit the sanctity of
their covenant by being unequally yoked together with
perverts.”
Their teachings on marriage and submission are equally
distressing. Michael Pearl seems to suggest that the
man of the house should always be reverenced, and never openly
questioned. Debi Pearl encourages a woman to always let her
husband take the lead – even to the detriment of herself and
her children.
This article shows their attitude very clearly.
http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/index.php?id=77&tx_ttnews[tt_news]=117&tx_ttnews[backPid]=71&cHash=0ffe48e952
“It’s called “the circle of love.” You please
him, and he likes it – then he pleases you, and you love him
– then you honor him, and he grows”
I see this as being diametrically opposed to Paul’s
description of marriage and submission. The husband is to
love the wife as Christ loved the church, and the wife is then to
submit to him. Placing the responsibility of a happy
marriage on the shoulders of the woman and her attitude is simply
wrong.
I know for a fact that women who follow the Pearls have counseled
other women enduring relationships with adultery and pornography
that if they were better in bed or had a better attitude at home,
their husbands would be satisfied at home.
Debi Pearl herself says “You can wake up in the morning with
a song in your heart, kissing your child and laughing at the
sunlight sprinkling your room. You can serve, give, forgive, and
enjoy the victory you have in Jesus. And when you feel that hurt,
angry spirit rise up, you can open your mouth in praise and
thanksgiving to God that you are free from sin and bondage, and
free to be glad. In that kind of atmosphere, a child grows stable
and complete, a selfish man stops fighting and trying to defeat
and subdue.”
She places the wife in the impossible position of being God to
her husband, and causing him to repent. She tells the wife
that it is her Christian duty to endure all things from her
husband, and that God will bless her, regardless of the
husband’s sin or abuse towards her.
This quote, in particular, illustrates just how far they are
willing to sacrifice women and children for a sinful, unrepentant
man. “But if your husband has sexually molested the
children, you should approach him with it. If he is truly
repentant (not just exposed) and is willing to seek counseling,
you may feel comfortable giving him an opportunity to prove
himself, as long as you know the children are safe. If there is
any thought that they are not safe, or if he is not repentant and
willing to seek help, then go to the law and have him arrested.
Stick by him, but testify against him in court. Have him do about
10 to 20 years, and by the time he gets out, you will have raised
the kids, and you can be waiting for him with open arms of
forgiveness and restitution. Will this glorify God? Forever. You
ask, "What if he doesn’t repent even then?" Then
you will be rewarded in heaven equal to the martyrs, and God will
have something to rub in the Devil’s face. God hates
divorce—always, forever, regardless, without
exception.”
Their views on children are horrifying. I am well aware
that Christians are arguing over many aspects of discipline and
parenting. But there are few who can read the advice of the
Pearls and not be shocked by what they claim to be
“Biblical”.
You can read the first chapter of their book “To Train Up a
Child” at
http://www.nogreaterjoy.org/index.php?id=to-train-up-a-child They
are extraordinarily punitive, adversarial, and
behavioristic. They compare a child to a dog or a horse,
and equate training an animal to raising a child.
“Most parents don’t think they can train their little
children. Training doesn’t necessarily require that the
trainee be capable of reason; even mice and rats can be trained
to respond to stimuli. Careful training can make a dog perfectly
obedient. If a seeing-eye dog can be trained to reliably lead a
blind man through the dangers of city streets, shouldn’t a
parent expect more out of an intelligent child? A dog can be
trained not to touch a tasty morsel laid in front of him.
Can’t a child be trained not to touch? A dog can be trained
to come, stay, sit, be quiet, or fetch upon command. You may not
have trained your dog that well, yet every day someone
accomplishes it on the dumbest of mutts. Even a clumsy teenager
can be trained to be an effective trainer in an obedience school
for dogs.”
The Pearls seem to forget that children are still created by God
with a free will, and not just animals to be trained. They
have a choice and will just as every adult.
They suggest setting up an toddler to fail, and then switching
them in order to ‘train them’ to obey immediately.
“Place an appealing object where they can reach it, maybe in
a “No-No” corner or on the apple juice table (another
name for the coffee table). When they spy it and make a dive for
it, in a calm voice say, “No, don’t touch that.”
Since they are already familiar with the word “No,”
they will likely pause, look at you in wonder, and then turn
around and grab it. Switch their hand once and simultaneously
say, “No.” Remember, now, you are not disciplining, you
are training. One spat with a little switch is enough. They will
again pull back their hand and consider the relationship between
the object, their desire, the command, and the little reinforcing
pain. It may take several times, but if you are consistent, they
will learn to consistently obey, even in your absence.”
He promises complete and utter perfection from a child if you are
consistent with this type of “obedience training”.
“Most children can be brought into complete and joyous
subjection in just three days. Thereafter, if you are consistent,
the children will remain happy and obedient. By obedient, I mean,
you will never need to tell them twice. If you expect to receive
instant obedience, and you train them to that end, you will be
successful.”
Please realize that this is a far greater issue than whether to
spank. I have my own opinions and beliefs on this subject,
and choose not to bring them into my concerns about the
Pearls. This man teaches that INFANTS should be switched on
a regular basis.
“You must start training your children one year before their
first birthday, because if you don’t, they will be trained
without your input.”
Michael Pearl makes a distinction between “training”
and “discipline”, but the fact of the matter is that,
for him, both involve hitting a child with a switch.
At this time, there is a case pending trial of a mother who used
Michael Pearl’s methods on her child, and the child died.
http://www.newsobserver.com/102/story/418676.html
http://www.newsobserver.com/1167/story/436198.html
Mandy Locke has written an excellent article covering Michael
Pearl in more general terms.
http://www.newsobserver.com/100/story/434403.html
I don’t want to make his child training advice the point of
my concern, although it sickens me. But, unfortunately,
most of the people I know who do follow Michael Pearl’s
teachings begin with his advice on raising children. He
preys on their fears as parents and promises them
perfection. He claims any fault with your child is your
fault, and consistency would fix any and all problems.
I see and have seen too many well-meaning Christian parents
sucked into this lie, and lose sight of the goal. The women
mentioned in Mandy’s article – Chris and Meggan –
are both friends of mine. I been told of the damage their
children, their families, and they themselves have suffered as a
result of Michael and Debi Pearl.
Women, in particular, are susceptible to damage. They are
told that they are ultimately responsible for the well-being of
their children, the care of their home, and the happiness of
their husband. They are expected to be perfectly
consistent, perfectly happy, and perfectly willing to do anything
asked of them. It sets them up to be taken advantage of and
abused.
It puts men into an artificial place of elevation within the
family, instead of holding him to be the servant that he is
expected to be to his wife and children. It borders
dangerously close to idolatry. It gives him a sense of
pride and arrogance that is hard to overcome.
I really appreciate you taking the time to look at all
this. I realize it’s incredibly long, and very full of
information. Please don’t feel any hurry to respond
– I know there’s a lot of material here. I’d
love to meet with you at some point and discuss it.
Thanks so much for your willingness to help, and the amazing job
you do sharing grace with all of us at *** each week.
Sincerely,
Why Not Train a Child? *****
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